| What I want is a little peace...
What I need is a little strength...
And when I wish...
It's for someone to understand me.
What I like is to escape the reality...
What I hate is living in it...
After so long...
You don't come close to understanding.
What I love is my children.
When I am weak, they make me smile.
But with you...
Smiling is inconceivable.
What I ask is why?
What I think is how?
And what I believe...
Doesn't matter anyway.
What I feel is numb.
What I see is dark.
And where I am...
Is lost.
What I want to do is learn.
What I want to like is me.
And what I need to be...
Is found.
© C.Collins 2002
ILLEGAL
Please wont you just hear me,
My love for you is strong.
Please wont you just listen,
What you're doing is wrong!
You know what I'm saying,
Has got to be true.
For once pease believe me,
For once get a clue!
Since when is it legal,
to break my heart...
to rip it to shreds...
to tear it apart?
You say that I have you,
Well isn't that nice.
Nothing to worry about,
just your heart of ice.
You say that I have you,
Funny, I believe that's true.
You say that you love me,
But God Damn you!
This is illegal.
© C.Collins 1991
SECOND OFFENSE
It was illegal then,
and it still is today!
How in the hell
can you treat me this way?
I'm not always perfect,
the tears fall without trace.
This is an all too common occurance,
that you throw in my face.
They say loves fades,
Is that what's happening here?
You crumble me up and shove me aside
and have just enough time to crack open a beer.
Your moods change so swiftly,
as time turns to past.
You say kind words one moment
and tear me down just as fast.
You know that you cut me,
as you stand and watch me bleed.
I beg and beg for this to stop
but once again you feed your need.
It has been ten years,
and still you don't see
how very much you have,
and how much you've needed me.
Is this how you show your love
after so many years?
Take every ounce of happiness
and bring it all to tears?
I'd rather be physically beat,
then to feel your emotional wrath.
Wont you stop all of the hurt
from traveling this path?
You leave me alone for hours
and say I'M always away.
How you draw these conclusions
is hard for me to say.
Your caring has ceased,
your feeling is lost.
You leave me lonely and say cruel things,
no matter what the cost.
You act as if your jealous
when that man whistled at me.
But you turn and hug a blonde
is there something I don't see?
If I tell you how I feel
you come down hard on me.
Call me a cunt, a bitch, a nightmare,
slit my throat and watch me bleed.
When my tears fall
I lose my soul.
But what does it matter
When the blood's in the bowl?
Can you feel yourself
actually beating me blind?
The pain turns to guilt
because you used to be so kind.
I want a perfect family.
Something I never had.
Picnics, board games, swimming.
Always smiling and never being mad.
These words are real.
My poems don't lie.
The pain you induce
may not ever die.
You say that you love me,
funny, I believe that's true.
You say that you love me,
but God Damn you!
This is illegal.
© C.Collins 2001
RMS
I've tried to intoxicate you with my body, my heart and finally my soul. Awaiting the final outcome of the trial that I have been put through, by you, my peer, is wrenching every ounce of energy. My mental guard building a massive wall, steady and strong, as it grows larger day by day. The purpose, to trap out pain and fear, as I continue to live inside myself. Alone, with all the anger of my shattered past, as each time you tore a piece of my heart and took it with you. Never to return it. Never. It will not happen again. I wont let it. I wont let you. How dare you RAPE MY SOUL...
© C. Collins 1994 |
